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We all want to be heard, but you can't hear when you're talking!

Rule #3: Shut Up and Listen.

James 1:19 -- Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

We all want to feel that someone understands us. We want to feel that we have been heard. In fact, our need to be heard is often much greater than our need to be agreed with.

But that probably means we talk too much. As your mother used to say, you have two ears to listen and only one mouth to speak, so use them in that ratio! Try less to get your point across and convince our spouse why you are right. Focus on seeing the world from your spouse's point of view.

Can you take the lead and set an example in listening? Can you hit the pause button and tune in to the words that our spouse is speaking? What emotion are they communicating?

Chances are good your spouse wants more for you to understand their feeling on the issue rather than for you to necessarily agree. Seek to listen without interruption or judgment, and seek to understand why this is important to your spouse. This can be very difficult when we feel that we are being attacked, but we grow in our connectedness as we listen to one another and carry our burdens together.


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